Saturday, March 7, 2009

Falling Star

i was staring at the stars hoping id catch one fall.

I practically tried all the wishing wells all over Baguio with just one single wish in mind. It got me thinking, things could have been perfect if he's here. The trip was really fun and its my first time going out of town with these girls, but I am not that happy without him. Here we go again, me talking about him, using the pages of this blog and the audience might get tired of the same old story. But what can I do? I cant last a day without thinking about him.

But what's sad is that even though he can be one of my priorities, his list of priorities is so full that my five letter name couldn't fit at all. He has a lot of reasons and he can think of a thousand more. As an old tagalog saying goes...

"kung gusto may paraan kung ayaw may dahilan"..

I dont want to expect. I honestly dont want to expect at all. But this stupid heart is so stubborn and was expecting a fairy tale ending. But is it my fault? I like him because he made me like him, I expected because he made me expect things and im just human to fall.

and yes, you read me right.FALL.

I know things are not happening as I planned. What I told myself before is that Id just enjoy the moment and what happens happens. But things are starting to hurt already. I realized, were not even a couple yet but what I always get are disappointments and a broken self esteem. Im not demanding things from him and he knows that. Up to now I dont know what am I to him.

I guess, for him I'm not worth the risk
and I cant understand myself that in spite of it all, I'm still here.

IM TIRED OF THIS GAME ALREADY but I cant make myself QUIT.