Clark Hot Air Balloon Festival 2010

one of my dreams is to ride a hot air balloon, but since its expensive, well just have to save for that one for now.

and today i got to see a lot of hot air balloons, kites and everything flies. yey! im with my lakwatsera buddies joyjoy and tin.

Hot air Balloon festival happens every year, every Febuary at Clark,  Pampanga.

sah.joy.tin

They have different activities, everyone can fly kites, they have kiosks and food booths. The main event would be the display of hot air balloons, if you wouldnt be able to catch it by 5-6am, then you can catch it later like 6-7pm like we did.

Since we have a lot of time to kill, we went to SM Clark to have lunch.

serah and tina nagiikot@sm clark

when we went back to the festival at arounf 4pm. We bought food,pillows,  and a blanket.

wow kite

may blanket na din kami! haha!

pizza!

If you dont have a car, it would be best to leave the place earlier, festivals ends @8-9pm. Because its not easy to take a ride to the bus terminal. Plus the terminal there came from other terminals already so they just have a few seats available.

he said he's leaving, i accepted that.

before he left, everything was okay. He made me feel things will be alright. He'll visit, he'll call.
I thought everything's going to be okay. Things are not going to be easy, i knew that. But I was willing to
make the sacrifices just to make it work.


and then, just a month after he left he says he doesn't want to make the relationship deeper because things will be just
hard for the both of us. How selfish is that?

my heart yells: OUCH!

so what does that mean?
what he feels for me and the times that we shared together are all LIES.

"the truth didn't hurt, the lies did"

And whats worse, he didn't even let me know that he's leaving now, FOR GOOD. He left me hanging, waiting.



Waiting......



for.......




nothing.....






and he said he did not guarantee anything? well guess what? that's bs.




why did you have to kill me? I can die on my own.

My heart Died Today

my heart died today, april 02,2009.

Things are just starting to get really special. But then, life wouldn't just let me be happy.
First off, he said he's about to resign. I didn't want to talk about it. He was hired in a company in Pampanga. What? All along I thought he's going to stay here. But there's still hope deep inside that he'll change his mind. Then reality sets in.

s: di ko alam sasabihin ko, ano ba ko sayo?
 
n: ur more than a friend choy
 
s: lagi ako inaasar ni rolet kung bakit wala akong bf, kasi daw ung mga boys ko hanggang    introduction lang, walang ginagawa.naiinis ako sa kanya pag ganun di na lang ako nagsasalita..
   I like you, in case you havent noticed.pro alam ko naman yung tungkol sa family mo at naiintidihan    ko din na sila ung priority mo. I realized that i dont need a rel just to prove that what i feel is       real. pero ang gulo lang..tas aalis ka..xempre di madali sakin un..
 
n: alam ko naman un at nalulungkot din ako..nahihiya na
    DI KITA MAPANINDIGAN SARAH...
 
s:  ayoko maawa sa sarili ko pero un ung nararamdaman ko, kung yun ung choice na pinili mo wala naman akong magagawa don eh..
 
n:  uh dont have to feel that way..please dont..im sorry choy..;c
 
n:  choy sorry..


di kita mapanindigan..the words keep playing on my mind over and over..then tears fell from my eyes. I don't want to think or feel anything, make me numb.

Falling Star

i was staring at the stars hoping id catch one fall.

I practically tried all the wishing wells all over Baguio with just one single wish in mind. It got me thinking, things could have been perfect if he's here. The trip was really fun and its my first time going out of town with these girls, but I am not that happy without him. Here we go again, me talking about him, using the pages of this blog and the audience might get tired of the same old story. But what can I do? I cant last a day without thinking about him.

But what's sad is that even though he can be one of my priorities, his list of priorities is so full that my five letter name couldn't fit at all. He has a lot of reasons and he can think of a thousand more. As an old tagalog saying goes...

"kung gusto may paraan kung ayaw may dahilan"..

I dont want to expect. I honestly dont want to expect at all. But this stupid heart is so stubborn and was expecting a fairy tale ending. But is it my fault? I like him because he made me like him, I expected because he made me expect things and im just human to fall.

and yes, you read me right.FALL.

I know things are not happening as I planned. What I told myself before is that Id just enjoy the moment and what happens happens. But things are starting to hurt already. I realized, were not even a couple yet but what I always get are disappointments and a broken self esteem. Im not demanding things from him and he knows that. Up to now I dont know what am I to him.

I guess, for him I'm not worth the risk and I cant understand myself that in spite of it all, I'm still here.

IM TIRED OF THIS GAME ALREADY but I cant make myself QUIT.

Valentine Pressure

Do I have a date?  But the question for me is, “should I really have to have one?” People are expecting everyone to go out with someone special, go on a date, receive roses or flowers or chocolates. Come to think of it, that’s the very commercialized image of this day. We are feeling pressured to receive or give something because that’s what they want us to feel. So that marketer’s could get something from your paycheck.  Im a marketing graduate, I should know.

But what’s funny is that deep inside we are all feeling pressured, specially the single ones. Haha

Rolette said: “ sa dinami-dami ng stalker mo, wala man lang nag-ask sayo ng date? Haha”

Then it got me thinking, should I go out on Saturday? Boylet1 keeps on asking me for a date even after three times of rejection. I don’t want to go out with him just for the sake of having a date on valentines day. What about ___ from school? He said he likes me maybe he’d ask me. But still, the idea of it doesn’t feel right.

From the Internet, here’s the meaning of valentines day:

noun. Valentines day- a day for the exchange of tokens of affection

Going back to Rolette’s question, I don’t give a damn if those stalkers (whatever you want to call them) don’t ask me for a date. I don’t want them to, because I have a problem letting other people down. If ever, I only want to go out with (insert name here). Haha.. Yikes.